Training Filler

Killed it today in the gym. 

1.5 mile jog warm up
10- 30 second hill sprints (increasing the hill with each sprint) with 30 seconds recovery time in between

10 push ups (chest all the way to the floor peeps!)
10 bench dips                       
10 chest press using 15 pounds in a stability ball bridge
5 rounds with 30 sec recovery in between rounds

20 incline sit ups
20 skull crushers
20 open flies using 10 pounds
5 rounds with 30 sec recovery in between rounds

10 squats
30 sec plank
10 barbell bicep curls (using 20 pounds)
5 rounds with 30 sec recovery

BOOM

 

Inspiration

I'm always on the look out for inspiration.  It can come in the form of a quote, or a picture posted on Facebook, or a blog.  My dear friend Melissa sent me a link of a blog she thought I needed to read.  She was right.  I devoured the blog post and it hit home.  Oh boy did it hit home.  Here it is.

http://www.imperfectlife.net/ilovemyuglybody/

It's a great post about changing your perception.  And it's probably what I struggle with the most.  I have struggled not only with the weight loss, but with realizing that despite all of my healthy lifestyle changes and training; my body is my body.  I can't make it look like someone else's.  I've really been working on celebrating my successes, validating my work, and acknowledging my progress.  Even if I still don't look like what I had in my head I would look like.  

I have been officially hired as a sub for one club, and I think I will be for the other. (that's a whole other post coming soon.)  But the inner mean girl has poked her bitchy little head up again and I've been sucked into some negative thinking.  "Despite whether or not I can rock it on a bike, I don't look like your typical fitness instructor."  "No one will take me seriously."  "How can I instruct/train anyone else if I can't seem to meet all my own goals?"  All of it.  I have been able to talk myself down off the ledge but I keep stepping out onto that ledge.  So I decided to check in with the author of the blog, Andrea.  I also started following her on Facebook and think she is funny, real, AND inspirational.  But I felt a little weird and creepy.  Who sends someone they don't know a message about how they feel about their body?  I do.  I decided reaching out is braver then hiding.  Hiding didn't work for me.  I am striving to be a person who puts myself out there.  So I did.  And she gave me some great advice!  Why do I assume that people are thinking such ugly negative things about me?  And you know what?  If they DO think those ugly things...well, then I will just have to absolutely kill them in class and they will quickly learn that I don't have to have a perfect body to do some damage.  I have gotten so much stronger.  I have gotten so much healthier.  I can do this.  And I can inspire other people to do this.

Thank you Andrea for being open and vulnerable with your blog and page.  And thank you even more for being supportive and caring to an absolute stranger!

Filler

So I have a few blog posts in the making.  But I realized that I can go for longer periods of time in between blog posts because I either haven't really figured out how to say what I want to say, or feel like I have to wait to see how something plays out before I reflect on it.  I'm not super good at the 'post something every day' thing.  I don't know if this makes me a bad blogger or not.  Maybe people want to read something every day.  Maybe I post too often and people are groaning when I post yet another blog.

Who the hell really knows?

Tonight I decided to post what I made for dinner.  I have gotten much better about preparing healthy meals, not just grabbing healthier convenient frozen food.  I don't always nail it but I try to make a better decision every day.  Eventually those will all add up right?

Green Bean and Shrimp Curry

Shrimp (I get the pre-cooked frzoen shrimp from Costco. Because a) I can't really afford fresh seafood on a regular basis and b) fresh shrimp is kind of gross. lol
Green beans.
1 can coconut milk from TJ's. (I went with the light coconut milk tonight but decided the extra fat is worth it. Tasted so much better)
Green onions
Garlic (to taste- I tend to use 5 cloves cause we are garlic junkies)
4 tsp curry powder
2 tbsp Paprika
1 tbsp cornstarch

Saute up the green beans and then add shrimp and green onions and garlic.

Then add the coconut milk and everything else. Stir it until it's all dissolved and mixed together. Bring to a boil and then let simmer for a bit

While it was simmering, Grant, my youngest, stole the camera.  So I had some fun with him.

Little changes add up.

Keep it clean peeps.  I go for 80/20.  80% of the time I eat clean healthy whole food.  20% is the "I'm human" percent.  And none of us are perfect.  I'm striving for better. 

Support 101

What to say to someone who hasn't made a weight loss goal or fitness goal can be tricky.  Because I think, for the most part, people have the best of intentions.  But it usually comes in the form of minimization.  "But you look great!"  "The scale doesn't tell you everything!"  "I wish you could see what we all see!"  These are all well meaning statements.  I recognize that.  But they do in fact minimize the feelings you are having if you haven't reached a goal you want to reach. 

Everyone pretty much knows my history with bulimia, and therefore my propensity to obssiveness/control when it comes to this journey.  It's comforting for me to know that people know my history.  It keeps my accountable on some levels....because anyone who is dealing/recovering with any type of addiction knows that the secretiveness of it is the dangerous aspect.  When I stop vocalizing that my tummy feels uncomfortable after eating a bit too much, I'm hiding.  But it freaks people out a bit.  And I get that too.  It's my job to deal with my disorder though, not yours.  Trust me when I say that I'm on top of it.  That I'm ok.  I still have weight loss/fitness goals though.  It's not obsessive or unhealthy for me to have those.  Or to be a bit upset when I don't hit them.   

People get frustrated if I get frustrated by what they see as a supportive response to me not meeting a goal.  It's my goal.  I wanted to meet it.  Isn't is frustrating for you when you don't meet a goal?  We all fall into it.  I'm so guilty of saying all of these type of things.  But what I really need to hear if I have reached out to you about it, is that it must suck to work so hard for something and not get it.  Please don't reframe what you think I should be getting.  Please don't judge whether you think it's a reasonable goal.  Please don't worry I am falling into unhealthy patterns.  Just listen.  And ackowledge.  Validate. 

It sucks to work really hard at something and not make a goal you set for yourself.  It's ok that it sucks.  It's not the end of the world.  It's just a sucky moment in it. 

Transitions

We're in Bend!!  And so far we love it here.  It's absolutely gorgeous.  I haven't blogged for awhile because it's been a bit overwhelming unpacking and such.  The move has forced some positive changes, albeit challenging ones.

We still don't have a gym.  The only real family friendly one that has a child care center for older children is called the Athletic Club of Bend.  And it's pretty awesome.  But it's $200 a month! What the?  Who has $200 a month just for the gym?!  I live at the gym.  But we just can't budget that in.  It's disappointing because I had high hopes it could be our spot.  The boys really liked the kid care, they have pick up basketball games for Bob, and a good enough weight room for me.  But I have to readjust.  It won't be the Y.  It's been the hardest adjustment for us.  We loved the Y.  Everyone knew us, the boys' closest friends were there, it was our spot.  Our second home in Minnesota.  We all miss it desperately.  But I know you can't stay somewhere because you love your gym.

I have been exercising outdoors a lot more.  Sprinting fartleks at the track, 6ish mile jog/walk, walks by the river (that's on the docket for this am!) and even some interval work in the crammed garage with the husband (I kicked his ass if you are wondering).  I know being out of my comfort zone is healthy for me.  It has forced me to be creative with my training and incorporate new things.  And I am a firm believer in switching it up.  So there's that.

Getting my eating back on track as well.  I have been off track the past several weeks.  I have not eating at regular intervals to keep my blood sugar in check and then grabbing the easiest (read processed) crap to make.  I haven't been drinking enough water... too many RedBulls to keep myself going even though I KNOW this is not how you keep yourself going.  I slipped a bit.  Nothing too drastic, but it's time to refocus and take care of me.

So I'm going on a nice peaceful walk down by the river.  A little exercise and a little alone time.  Just what the doctor ordered.