Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Balancing Acts

The thing that I am working on the most right now is how to balance.  It's been the step I have been most afraid to take.  Because I don't balance.  I'm an all or nothing kind of girl.  All in or all out.  I have known that eventually, when I had my feet on solid ground, I would need to learn this skill. 

I take a lot of flack from time to time because I do post a lot about my journey on facebook.  And I do have two heart rate monitors, one for exercise and one for the day, and I am religious about my food planning and tracking. And I have not worked out less then five days a week for at least the past year and a half.  That's a lot to focus on and not drop any balls.  But I haven't dropped any.

This week I have taken a few steps toward learning the art of balance.  I won't go into details because, well because I'm not sure if anyone is reading this or gives a shit anyway.  But it has been a good week.  I continue to train, and train hard. But I have allowed myself to loosen the strings just a bit.  It's always been a slippery slope for me and I have been so stringent with myself for fear of sliding right on down.  But i know myself better then I think I ever have.  I know that I am not going to fall down the mountain if I have a small treat.  I know it may mean I have to train just a little bit harder the next day; but that's ok.  That's balance.  That's learning how to make choices. 

This is no longer about reaching a goal weight.  It's about changing me. I am better with me.