Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Go Get Em Out There

We did it.  We're moving back to Oregon.

I'm a different person going back then who I was when I left.  I was a kid.  I  just had a kid.  Me and Bob were struggling.  There was family drama.  And I ran away.

I have done a lot of work on myself, both physically and emotionally.  This isn't to say that I don't have a ways to go; but I am pretty proud of all the steps I have taken.  I continue to grow and push myself out of my comfort zone.

So I'm moving back a stronger, more confident Karen.  I know that I can do whatever I put my mind to.  I'm more prepared for set backs, or conflicts that may come up.  I am re-centered.  I'm ready.

We said good-bye to Mike (my trainer and friend) and Andrea (his wife and my dear friend). As I was hugging him good-bye he whispered "Go get em out there."  It has been playing through my head since.  I'm a fighter.  I fought my way back.  I'm not ever going to give up.  And I'm ready for new challenges. 

But there has been one thing I haven't done; and it needed to be done before I start this next chapter in my life. 

I left my scale.  Gone.  I don't have one.  From now on I don't obsess about that number.  I knew it couldn't come with me.  It was a crutch.  And an unhealthy one.  I was so afraid of that number that I could barely acknowledge any other progress made.  I can't keep doing that.  I'm not afraid of going backwards.  Even if I have set backs now and again.  I know what I need to do to get myself back on track.  I don't need the number to tell me that.

Thank you Mike, well, for everything.  But also for always knowing what to say to me.  No matter how small, it is always the thing I need to hear.  And thanks to all of my friends and family who have supported me along the way.  It has helped me stay accountable and I have felt your love when I was doubting myself.

I'm jumping into a new life over here.  I don't know what it looks like yet.  But I do know I'm gonna rock it.

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