This time, however, I was stronger. Significantly stronger. I made it to the top on 3 climbs!! And on several others I got very close. I left feeling so empowered. There was a marked increase in not only my strength, but my confidence. I was going to get to the top. And I did.
But as I was going through the photos I took, I found this.
And I panicked. I almost deleted it. I'm not sure why I didn't. But there was no way in hell I was going to post it, despite my accomplishments I had climbing. Then a very dear friend who shares some similar issues made me read this post, http://m.runnersworld.com/womens-running/lets-keep-it-real-about-our-bodies?cm_mmc=Facebook-_-RunnersWorld-_-Content-Blog-_-KeepingItReal. It hit home. Sometimes you are handed something that you need to read in the moment you need to read it. This article was that for me. I hope you take the extra few minutes to read it, it will be well worth your time. But if you don't, the post is essentially written by a top athlete, a runner. She is asked to participate in an athletic clothing line fashion show. She looks amazing on the runway and in the pictures. But then a week later she has another picture taken of her that is less then flattering. And she decided to post it. Because her body is the same body that looked amazing in the runway show. But it's not perfect. It will change. Or she will get caught in an unflattering moment or angle. She challenged women to post the unflattering pictures of themselves. Don't hide behind the face selfie shot. Own who you are. Flaws and all.
So I'm posting this. I'm still cringing at how big my butt and thighs look from this angle (at least I'm hoping this is an angle problem) but I'm proud of how strong my back, shoulders, and arms look. Because they got me to the top of that wall. And I will not let a picture take away how good that felt.
Cool right? This was high! And I actually didn't make this one. I slipped one peg down from the top. But it was a harder climb (you can't tell but it's at an angle) and I was so proud of how far I made it!
As you know I am constantly struggling with not only loving myself, but accepting where I am at in my journey. And while I have gotten much better about having pictures taken of myself, I absolutely NEVER post an unflattering one. No matter how adorable my children look, or how much fun I am having with a friend; if I don't look good it's not going on the internet. But I accept her challenge. I accept the challenge to keep it real. I am where I am. And I am proud of where I am. And if I am constantly critiquing where I am, I may never get to where I want to be.