Monday, January 2, 2012

Who Are You and What Have You Done With Me?

Something happened to me while I was on vacation visiting my family in Oregon. I was running around my old high school track, watching a soccer team practice.  It was cold.  They all had on their shorts, with their cleats and their gloves.  I continued to watch them as I ran around and around and around remembering my own glory days.  And what glory days they were. Once upon a time, I was pretty good.  I was strong.  I didn't quit.  I fought.

"What happened to that girl," I wondered.

On one of my laps, the ball escaped and rolled in my direction.  Without breaking my stride, I passed it back to the coach who had jogged out to retrieve it.  "You must play" he said and ran back to his team. "Of coarse I played," I thought.  Then it hit me.  I was the same girl.  I was running.  I was strong.  I was fighting.  The only difference is that I stopped believing I was capable of those things.  But why?

I decided to start this blog, because while I have been on a weight loss journey for quite some time, I haven't really been able to figure out how I got to where I got.  Was it the knee injuries?  Was it the babies?  Was it pure laziness?  Denial?  When did I stop believing in myself?  I have to figure that out if I am to complete this journey and never go back.

I will be vulnerable.  I will be strong.  I will fight.

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