I had a rotten day today. From start to finish it just was a bad day. Not the kids. The kids were great.
So I went to spin class looking forward to just killing myself and leaving it all there. Got myself all set up, did some nice slow stretching, and jumped on.
There was a ripped woman behind me. She was chatting away with some of the other people. THen our instructor got there and ripped lady introduced herself. She's a new spin instructor at the Y. My heart sank a little bit. I have been trying to build myself up to ask about training and becoming a spin instructor. I have been doubting if I am ready for something like that or if I still have more work I need to do for myself first.
The two thoughts that kept going through my mind were a) I don't look anywhere near as fit as this woman so I was probably jumping the gun on actually becoming an instructor. And b) Even if it were possible I don't think I'll be able to get a working membership to help me pay for the training if they've already hired another instructor.
I don't know. Spent the whole ride full of doubt and upset and confused. Didn't get what I needed to get out of it. Worked hard. Sweat. Burned lots of calories. But did not walk out feeling better then when I walked in. Which was what I really needed tonight.