Monday, March 25, 2013

My Inner Zen

The past few days have been good for me. 

Let me start over.  The past couple of days I have been super tired and cranky.  BUT, I have done some serious training and walked out of the gym feeling so much healthier. And stronger.

Tonight, my Body Pump (strength training class) instructor told me I brought good energy to the class and he enjoyed having me there.

It made me feel really good.  Because I know how far I still have to go.  I know the scale is not moving the way I want it to.  I know that I still compare myself to others instead of comparing me to me. So it really meant something that he commented on my energy.  Not my strength.  Not my progress.  My energy.

It's something I still need to focus on.  Myself.  Because I like who I am in the gym.  I like how I feel.  I like who I see.  This doesn't come easy for me outside of the gym.  I focus on the scale.  And the calories.  And the clothes. 

My goal for the next few weeks is to stop worrying about what is not going the way I want it to go and to focus on my energy.  What am I putting out into the universe?  Maybe, just maybe it will come back to me.

1 comment:

  1. Karen I know that we just recently became friends on facebook but this really touched my heart. I will be honest to you about what the same struggle has done to me. Goodness it is hard to believe I am getting so close to 40, arg! Anyways, my nemisis is wanting to have that perfect body too and comparting myself to other women who seem to get very close to it. However, it does devalue how hard I have worked and how I am becoming as perfect as I can be. Plus, I think I am going through that mid life crisis where you realize you got to enjoy what you got because sagging is inevitable, lol! You see I worked my tail off and in the last year I lost over 50 lbs and went from a size 18 to a size 6-8 (depending on the clothing style). I should be proud, I should feel beautiful right? Well I would like to say I am, but at times I look at my stomach and I cringe. I had a c-section and firming it will or may never happen. I can focus on that one thing that is wrong and totally miss everything else and remain miserable. Truth is I have had tons of people tell me how good I look, had guys check me out and still I don't feel it. So is it truely about how I look or about how I feel? Yep, that hurts. I got to also work on seeing the beauty in myself and to enjoy my wellness. Like for instance, being healthy enough to workout and play soccer. It is my joy. Find your joy and stop focusing on that one thing that makes you feel less than what you really are. Losing weight in the right way is harder but it lasts a heck a lot longer. I have been able to maintain weight and even drop a little. Keep your head up high because you are doing what is healthy for you and you will see results, but be patient.