World's Best Mommy

Bob and the boys got me a shirt for Mother's Day, not last year, but the year before. It's pink and says "World's Best Mommy" with a big fat heart.  And I loved it.  But it didn't fit.  Not even close.  I have held on to this shirt determined to wear it. (For a pajama shirt).  Last year I pulled it out and tried it on.  Sort of.  But still too tight and felt really insecure, even to just sleep in it.

I pulled it out a week ago.  Not only does it fit, but it's a little loose!! I have been reminded lately of how long I have been working on this.  Roughly two years now.  It's been a slow hard process for me full of ups and downs.  I don't seem to lose weight quickly.  I don't understand how some people can.  It's not that I am not happy for other people.  I love seeing other people get healthy.  The negative thinking in my own head creeps back though.  "What is it about me that I can't seem to lose it that quickly?"  But I can't focus on anyone else.  It doesn't matter that someone else can lose the same amount in 6 months that I have in 2 years.  It only matters that I have made the changes I needed to make.  And I have.

And tonight my mommy t-shirt is proof of that!

Out of the Park

A little over two years ago, at a post baby check up the doctor told me I was in the obese category.  I dismissed him.  "I am not 600 pounds." "I just had a baby."  "I'm breastfeeding and need to eat."  "This is not even my heaviest."  It was easy for me to shrug it off.  Sure, I had some weight to lose.  But I had recovered from the Bulimia and I just had another baby and I was not going to let some number throw me back into a dark place.  I was going to enjoy being a mom....and all the food that came with it.  But I was in the dark place again.  I hated how I looked.  But more importantly, I hated how I felt about myself.  Again.

Oddly enough, that was not my rock bottom.  My rock bottom happened on the playground.  Aid wanted me to play chase.  And I did.  Or at least I tried to.  I realized I could only chase him for a few minutes before I had to tell him I was too tired.  I balled.  I had lost myself.  Again.  And because I had, I was going to be the mom sitting on the side because she was too big to get out there and play with her kid.

And that was unacceptable.

So I joined Weight Watchers.  Started counting points and lost 30 pounds.  And felt really good about myself.  But then I got stuck.  Joined the Y and started exercising.  Got stuck again.  Got the trainer.  Lost a little bit more.  Got stuck again.  Got the heart rate monitor.  Now I'm learning more about training in my zone to build up an aerobic base so I can more effectively burn fat.  So I get the most out of my workout.  I don't have time to waste. Life is too short and too precious to be sitting on the treadmill for 3 hours while my kids are playing with someone else in the play room.  I need to get in.  Get it done.  And get back to my family.

I had yet another assessment today.  Since I started this journey I have lost 67 pounds and 10% body fat.  You heard me.  10%.   I can probably outrun Aid.  I may still whimper in the heat of the training session, but the little voice in me is telling me to shut up because I know I can do it.

I didn't just hit it.  I hit it out of the park.

Downward Dog

Being a Yogi is not in my future.

In an effort to expand my fitness resources me and a girlfriend took a Yoga class.  A hot Yoga class. 
And while, I do like the actual workout of Yoga, it's the melodramatic element that my snarky self can't get over.  Sure, I will hold the star pose because I love that my quads are shaking they are so tired.  But I'm not sure how you expect me to get into the Happy Baby pose without smirking a bit.  And I don't mind the meditation piece of it.  Because it did feel good to close my eyes and focus on my breathing.  But if you tell me to pinch my thumb and pointer finger and "feel the past and the future become one" I start giggling like a naughty Catholic girl during church. 

Still, you can always take something away from an experience.  And I will go if my workout partner wants to because it's not all about me. 

But I will go and sit next to the other Sex and the City girls who were also giggling in the absolute silence.

Thank God for Subway

I know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. After not eating all night my body needs fuel to get it going.  It gets my metabolism moving and it sets the tone for the day.

But I am the mother of 2 and sometimes the day gets ahead of you.  In the past when I have been running late, trying to get the kids dressed, fed, and ready for school and have missed eating myself, I had three options I turned to.  One, starve until I got home. Which depending on the mornings event could be a couple of hours later.  The second, and most often taken one, was grabbing a doughnut with the kid(s).  Even after I really started my new lifestyle changes I convinced myself that as long as I programmed it into my nutrition plan it was alright. (The justifications I have given myself over the years are still astonishing to me). The third is that I could swing by a fast food joint and pick up a breakfast sandwich.  Without any of the sides not really horrible calorically speaking.  (Horrible in several other areas I know.)

But I have found a new ally. Subway.  I can't possibly tell you how much I love Subway.  Not only are they a healthier option then fast food, but all of their nutritional information is available so I can plug it all in to my nutritional plan for the day.  I can still have the convenience of not having to cook every once in awhile without undoing all of the good I have been doing.  BUT.  They now have healthier breakfast options.  This morning I was running late and we had no food in the house, (I was stopping at Trader Joes after I dropped off my oldest at preschool).  I stopped in at the convenient store across the street from his school and grabbed an egg white with spinach and tomato on a whole wheat English muffin breakfast sandwich!

Perfect.  I got food in my belly that was a much healthier option at only $2 that was pretty yummy!!

I should be a spokesperson for them.  Who needs Jared? I could go on and on and on.