Since I have started this journey, I have found myself trying to choose classes and events wisely. In the same way that an alcoholic cannot go out drinking, I cannot go to dessert night outs. I have to stay clear of situations and events that are triggers for me. At least until I get to a place where I can stare the temptation in the face and not eat it. I'm not there yet. This has brought some judgment. And maybe hurt feelings, on both ends. It has also been an obstacle in building friendships out here. But it is what it is.
I have come the realization that I have to surround myself with people that can support me and what I'm trying to do. You do not have to have the same goals that I do. You do not have to never have a sweet at your house or never invite me out. But you have to be able to understand if I decline. You have to be able to understand that your issues are not my issues. And for a long time I ignored my issues because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and I just wanted to be liked. But no more. I have to take care of myself. I have to put myself first. No one else is going to do this for me.
I have been reading a book called MWF seeking BFF. And I can so relate. She has gained 15+ pounds going out on her new friend dates, which has also hit home. I need to find friends that are compatible with my new changes. I need someone who wants to go try out a crazy 90 minute bootcamp followed by a smoothie after class. I need someone who wants to go on a double date with me and Bob that doesn't include food and alcohol. I need someone who calls me up to go get a pedicure or take a hike/walk with them on the weekend instead of dinner and drinks. It limits my prospects. I get that. And I'm coming to a place where I am ok with that and realize that I have to surround myself with friends that love and accept, support and reciprocate.
None of this is easy. But easy isn't always the thing that is best for you is it?
*Please note I am not speaking about anyone in particular. I'm really not. The book just got me thinking about friendship and the support network that you create for yourself. In no way do I mean that I'm ending any of my current friendships. But not opposed to finding some more that can support the new me! I edited it because I realize my wording may have sounded much harsher then I intended it to.